Jerry’s Speech to the Martini Room, Elgin IL

In February, Jerry gave a speech at a gallery showing at the Martini Room in Elgin, IL. We feel it encapsulates much of what believe, and why we do what we do. We reprint it here in full.

Hello, I hope all of you are good and great.  I know I am, for I am honored to have this opportunity to present to you all this series of artwork I refer to as ‘Legends.’  None of these were made with the intention to be presented or shown, and I definitely didn’t have the idea that they would be presented in such a beautiful place to such beautiful people.  These were made without any intention beyond sheer self reflection and expression.  All of these are byproducts of my particular experience with the COVID lockdown.  

Jerry at the Iowa Library Performer's Showcase, 2023

This was an experience we ALL had in some sort of way.  All of us here had to cope with new levels of isolation, of self-reflection, reevaluating the things and people around us.  We had to deal with the separation anxiety that everything outside was DANGEROUS, and I bet this led most of us to reevaluate what it meant to be us–who we were as individuals.

Making art in Mexico

Now my lockdown experience happened in Mexico.  The Yucatan.  The only state in North America at the time that had implemented Ley Seca–Dry Law.  This meant it was illegal to sell alcohol, and that I was as sober as I have ever been in the last decade.  Now this isn’t to say I drink a lot, but there’s a big difference between some and NONE.  These works of art were all created out of a very sober consciousness, despite what the colors may suggest.  

So I was dealing with this isolation in a foreign country, for the first time too I might add. Here I was doing what I’m sure many of you did during the lockdown, questioning who it is I am, measuring the value of the things and people I’m locked in with, asking myself why the hell am I here and sober, and why any of this was happening to the world at all.  As well as Ley Seca, there was a shortage of creative things.  No canvases.  Few paints, and in all of this uncertainty, and doubt, and reflection, and sobriety, I started having these vivid dreams.  Classic dreams too, these hodgepodge mixtures of symbols that seemed to be trying to communicate something to me in the most vague and indirect way possible.  Now, of course, I played along and tried to understand what they were telling me, trying to make personal connections to the vague symbols, trying to reconstruct the poetry of it to find the MEANING.  Of course the act of doing this is more meaningful than the potential answers, but this interaction with the dreams, this sorta psychic dialogue with myself, attempting to communicate consciously to my subconscious–from this interaction these artworks were born.  

So I was becoming increasingly more aware of my subconscious and how I was affecting IT and how IT was affecting ME.  It was in this vortex of COVID isolation, sober self-evaluation, and back-and-forth investigation of symbolic dreams that I realized not only the power, but the potential of my subconscious.  This is where the inspiration came from.  Each one of these legends have had a significant influence not only upon me, but modern culture.  From Burroughs to Cobain, From Ms. Lauryn Hill to Kendrick Lamar, all of these creators manifested not only something in myself, but all of us as a whole, whether aware of it or not.  Kendrick Lamar not only expresses the experience of being a youth in Compton California, but also the experience of being an individual in ANY hostile environment that may need to be called Home.  What I started to realize is Who I Was, was a direct correlation to how I treated my subconscious, and what entertainment and information I fed it.  In short, I was who I was due to these artistic personas and artforms that I admired and consumed.  What this also meant was who I was going to be was also directly correlated to what it is I admire and consume presently.  

Legends: From Frida Kahlo to Kurt Cobain

So that’s what I decided to do.  I stopped trying to unlock the dreams, but to produce them.  Frida Kahlo was everywhere in Mexico, so I started with her, sketching her as I observed how she was revered in Mexican culture, and how much influence and strength she gave and continues to give people.  It was obvious she inhabited a large part of their subconscious.  She’s on the airport walls, she’s on the post cards, she’s on the money.  She’s been dead for over fifty years, and still here she is.  

This influence was a magickal thing.  This influence is what I decided to explore, and who better to experiment on than yourself?  So I branched out from Frida, and dove into the pillars and icons of my own vast subconscious.  One by one, I waded into the art and significance of a variety of creators.  Besides the ones you see here, there are nearly thirty more manifested portraits.  I read Khalil Gibran thoroughly, educating myself through his truths, while depicting and capturing his brilliance and intellectual isolation.  I listened to Ms Lauryn Hill, over and over, examining her revelations of Love and the strength of the inextinguishable female spirit.  In this rendition of her, she burns with creative focus and force, depicting the nobility of expressing something, anything, vulnerably.  I have three more of her alone.

The experiment started to show results, and I began to witness a change in me.  The dreams became less cryptic, and slowly dispersed.  I began to find myself capable of answering those deep rooted self interrogations foisted onto us by the lockdown.  So I kept at it.  I continued with this self education, and dialogue with my subconscious, and I continued to develop artistically as well as individually.  

So what I hope for you all to see in these artworks is a bridge and dialogue with your own subconscious.  I hope you witness the Frida Kahlos and the Kurt Cobains within yourself, and maybe even begin to communicate with them, or at the very least, your own influences.   

It’s common knowledge that at many times in history (and many places still now) the individual does not have the rights or the consent from their culture/family/nation to openly choose what they want to read, or watch, or listen to.  This is a great power, and therefore (despite its cringe worthy cliche) RESPONSIBILITY.  

What I realized for myself was that I had this responsibility to develop my subconscious for the benefit of not only those locked in with and around me, but I had a responsibility to myself.  We are not just our egos.  We are equally not just our subconscious, but we are this beautiful music between them that can either weave like harmony, or clash and resist with different intentions.  

So in this peculiar confinement of isolation I came to the truth that even within ME I wasn’t alone.  There was this other me, and it’s unavoidably the same with all of you.  So I suggest to you to shake the hand of your subconscious and make sure you let them know you are here for them, for it’s the only way you can be sure that they will be here for YOU.

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